Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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