I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
