Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My vagina is very pro this idea
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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