remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
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