I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
