i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
