if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize