if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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