i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
