Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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