im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
