Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
