So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
