You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
