My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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