I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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