Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
