Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
