At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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