Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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