lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
