i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
