You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
