I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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