Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
