May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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