I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
