Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
this will be a night to untag.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
