We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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