I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
