so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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