im drinking this country out of the recession.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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