She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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