sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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