I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i drank out of a bidet.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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