theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
