Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
