Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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