Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
