I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's shark week go big or go home
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize