I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize