He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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