i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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