So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
