out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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