I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
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I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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