I think I just saw someone hide a body.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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