I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
