I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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