It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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