We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she told me i tasted like america
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
