Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
