So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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