I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
