dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
