p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
