drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
