I am in a vortex of obligation.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
