You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
