i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So vagazzling was a success
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
