He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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